Dear Sex Witch: Pegging 101
Q: Dear Sex Witch, my boyfriend and I (we are a heterosexual couple) want to try pegging for the first time. We are really excited about this, and have been fantasizing about it for a long time, but we don’t know where to start.
This is so exciting! First of all, I want to commend you on being creative and wanting to try something new in your sex life. This curiosity and adventurousness will go a long way to keeping your sex life happy and flourishing.
Okay! So, for those that don’t know, pegging is the act of a person anally penetrating their partner, usually wearing a strap on harness and dildo. The first thing I recommend doing is finding a feminist sex toy store, either online or in your city. The clerks there are experts (sexperts :)) and they can help you find a harness in your size and price range. Harnesses can usually be tried on over your clothes at these shops, and I encourage you to do that so you find the perfect fit. As for dildos, I would try something very small, thin and smooth to start.
FUZE sells medical grade silicone dilators and a Step 1 or Step 2 might be a great place to start. You can always upgrade to a bigger size later. If your dildo has a curve, make sure that curve is always pointed towards the receiver’s bellybutton, that way it will stimulate his prostate (the male G-Spot). While you’re shopping, pick up some high quality silicone lube. FuckWater, sliquid, and UberLube are excellent brands.
Now let’s get into the how-to’s of pegging! Pegging requires a lot of trust and patience, especially the first few times. Your male partner should be on his back, with a pillow under his butt. Protect the pillow with a towel, because this can get messy! You should be able to make eye-contact with him, and be able to read his facial expressions so you can gauge if he’s feeling pain, or pleasure. Gently start stimulating the anus with your finger or your tongue. You can also stimulate his genitals, or have him do that for you.
The more aroused he is, the more open and relaxed he will be. Slather lube all over his butt hole and your fingers, and very slowly and cautiously, insert a finger first. Check in with your partner about how that feels, and watch his face for clues. When he relaxes around your finger, add A LOT OF LUBE to his butt hole and your dildo. The more lube the better. Getting him to draw his knees up to his chest, SLOWLY start to penetrate him with the dildo. Check in with him and make sure he isn’t experiencing any pain.
Once he is relaxed with the dildo inside him, you can slowly start thrusting. Make lots of sexy eye-contact and check in often.
One little word of warning: being the person wearing the dildo can be quite a strain on your quads and butt muscles! Make sure you stretch after play, or you’ll feel it the next day :)
Remember pleasure is a form of activism,
Miss Justine x
Justine is a sex educator! If you have any questions about how to get into different sexual practices, like pegging, safely and confidently, book a session with her at The Witch’s Therapist.
