Dear Sex Witch: Polyamorous Relationships & Group Sex
Q: Dear Sex Witch, I have not yet been in a relationship and have a hard time meeting people in my city/ local area. But, the last time I was away on vacation, I met a phenomenal couple who have made it more than clear they'd like to be in a polyamorous relationship with me. I've yet to engage in anything with them, but have had some commitment and abandonment issues in the past. Also I've been involved in group sex before, but those weren't very good experiences for me. This couple though, seems different somehow... but I think I am slightly more attracted to one more than the other. Should I dive into “the throuple,” or should I just keep them as friends?
Keep them as friends…but you can fuck your friends :)
Listen, I think it’s really cool that this couple is into you! Maybe you can have really groovy group sex with them and redeem your group sex experiences! Group sex is like any other sexual experience, it can range from horrible, all the way to mind-blowing. Because you have a connection with these folks, you might ease into a different sexual dynamic with them than what you’ve experienced in the past. Remember to negotiate your needs and wants with them, and everyone’s thoughts on penetration and safe sex before you do anything! Not negotiating before group sex might be why it’s been so bad for you before.
As for becoming part of a throuple, I’m going to be honest with you. If you haven’t had a long-term relationship before, it’s like skipping easy mode and going straight to the hardest level. You have all the same issues you’d have with one person, times two, or even times three because you have two individual relationships, AND the group dynamic to deal with. You’d be working on your commitment and abandonment issues in a complex pressure cooker and I don’t know if that’s something you want straight out of the gate.
Enjoy getting to know them, take it really slow, maybe get sexy, and see what happens without putting any labels on the situation.
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