Embracing the Messiness of Healing: the “Goo” Phase
Can you feel it?
That in between place?
The place where the old no longer fits, but the new isn’t clear yet.
A time when everything feels sticky, confusing, and raw.
You may be doing the work of healing, but still feel lost.
If so, you might be in what some people call the goo phase.
While we’d all love for healing to be a simple, predictable, linear process, the truth is it’s not that simple.
It’s not about feeling a bit better with each step.
In fact, at some points it can begin to feel worse.
At The Witch’s Therapist, we’re a holistic psychotherapist in London Ontario.
We understand the complicated process of healing, and what it can feel like.
Like falling apart.
Like forgetting who you are, who you were, who you want to be.
Like not being able to go back, but not yet knowing how to go forward.
And even though this stage is normal, it’s so easy to feel ashamed, scared, or frustrated in the goo.
But the goo isn’t something to be scared of.
In fact, there’s beauty in the messiness.
This week’s London Ontario therapy blog article is dedicated to the mess – to the goo.
What Is the Goo Phase of Healing?
Many different holistic psychotherapy modalities mention the metaphor of the butterfly in the process of healing.
We begin as frightened, vulnerable caterpillars.
It’s difficult to function.
Difficult to navigate the world.
Difficult even to meet our basic needs at times.
But through working on ourselves, we transform into a stronger, more confident butterfly.
This is a beautiful metaphor, but there’s a period in this process we often forget to explore.
It’s the chrysalis phase.
A caterpillar enters a chrysalis, and comes out a butterfly.
But what happens in the chrysalis?
The “goo” phase.
Let’s take a closer look at this, from a scientific perspective.
First, a caterpillar separates its outer shell from its body, and uses this to create its chrysalis.
This is similar to how a snake sheds its skin.
From there, the caterpillar releases some enzymes within the chrysalis.
These enzymes literally dissolve its body.
Other than the essential organs and cells it needs to continue surviving, the caterpillar literally becomes a puddle of goo.
From there, it begins rebuilding its body – its wings, its carapace, etc.
If you’re curious, below is a video that goes further into detail on the process.
Now, here’s the thing.
When a caterpillar enters its goo phase, it has the luxury of closing itself off from the world around it.
That’s what a chrysalis does.
But as humans, we don’t get that luxury.
As raw as it may feel during that time, we still have to work, pay our bills, take care of our loved ones, and survive under late stage capitalism.
That’s why self compassion is one of the most important elements of the goo phase.
This is an inherently difficult experience, no matter who you are.
What Does the Goo Feel Like in Your Body?
When you’re in the goo phase, the body knows it before the mind does.
Do you feel tightness in your jaw?
A clenching in your belly?
That familiar weight in your chest?
Maybe your shoulders ache from holding it all up for too long.
For some, your body gets loud when you’re in the goo.
You may feel tired for no reason.
You may forget simple things.
You may cry over small stuff.
Your body is speaking, and it’s asking you to listen.
But the messages aren’t always clear.
This is the moment when our bodies often say: Slow down.
Be still.
Let yourself be changed.
But that’s hard, isn’t it?
Because we live in a world that says: Keep moving. Keep fixing. Keep pushing.
Even in healing spaces, there’s sometimes pressure to “get better” fast.
To show progress.
To have answers.
But real healing doesn’t move in a straight line.
And the goo phase teaches us that not knowing is part of the journey.
What Does Goo Teach Us About Transformation
The goo is messy.
It doesn’t look good on Instagram.
It doesn’t come with easy language or a perfect plan.
It can feel like losing control.
But there’s wisdom in the mess.
The goo reminds us that breakdowns can lead to breakthroughs.
That losing who we thought we were is sometimes the only way to become who we really are.
That transformation happens not through force, but through surrender.
But surrendering doesn’t mean giving up.
It means choosing to be present with what is, even if it feels awful.
It means sitting with the sadness instead of rushing past it.
It means listening to the anxiety instead of shaming it.
RELATED: London Ontario Anxiety Counselling and Psychotherapy
It means holding space for the grief, the anger, the confusion, and letting those emotions speak.
Why The Goo Phase Feels So Hard
Discomfort isn’t pleasant.
And many of us grew up in systems that punished us for being too emotional, too sensitive, too slow, or too different.
So now, when the goo comes, we may hear old voices in our heads:
You’re not trying hard enough.
You should be over this by now.
Why can’t you just be normal?
Those voices are not the truth.
They’re the echoes of past pain.
They’re the legacy of intergenerational trauma, of toxic family dynamics, of living in a world that prioritizes stress and burnout over accommodating disabilities.
RELATED: Psychotherapy for Living with Disabilities
The goo invites us to notice those voices, and choose something kinder.
Finding Safety in the Goo
Being in the goo can feel lonely.
It can feel like no one sees you.
Like everyone else is doing fine while you’re quietly falling apart.
But the truth is, everyone goes through the goo.
Most people just don’t talk about it.
We all reach points in life where the old way doesn’t work anymore.
Sometimes it’s the end of a romantic relationship, or an intimate friendship.
Sometimes it’s burnout.
Sometimes it’s a health issue, a death, a move, a life shift, or just a slow inner knowing: This isn’t it anymore.
But what comes next hasn’t arrived yet.
That’s the goo.
To move through it, we need safety.
We need softness.
We need support.
After all, our minds need both certainty and uncertainty at the same time.
Too much certainty feels stagnant and boring, but too much uncertainty feels chaotic and frightening.
During the goo phase, you may feel the balance tipped toward uncertainty.
It can help to ask yourself what might make you feel more certainty in this phase.
For many, this means allowing someone to witness this period.
At The Witch’s Therapist, we’re happy to provide a space for you to navigate this tender, confusing, often overwhelming period.
A therapy session doesn’t last as long as a caterpillar’s time in a chrysalis.
But it can still feel refreshing to have a space where you can fall apart in safety.
Even the smallest softness can make the goo more bearable.
The Gifts Hidden in the Goo
Here’s the thing about the goo: it doesn’t last forever.
Just as a caterpillar eventually emerges from its chrysalis, so too will you.
And even though it can be painful, this stage can also bring you gifts.
Gifts of patience.
Gifts of deeper trust in yourself.
Gifts of truths you couldn’t see when you were busy holding everything together.
In the goo, old masks fall off.
Old patterns come up to be seen.
You may realize how much of your life has been shaped by survival.
By pleasing others.
By keeping the peace.
By shrinking yourself to stay safe.
And slowly, you may begin to imagine something new.
Something more honest.
Something more aligned with your true self.
Something freer.
A Somatic Invitation: Be With the Goo
Let’s take a moment and explore a somatic therapy approach to the goo.
Right now, can you tune into your body?
Notice your breath.
Notice where you feel tension.
Place a hand there, gently.
Whisper: I’m here with you.
I’m not going anywhere.
Let the goo be what it is.
It might feel like fear.
It might feel like grief.
It might feel like floating in space.
But beneath all of that, something is shifting.
Something is becoming.
Even if you can’t name it yet.
The Process of Becoming
We live in a world that celebrates the before and after.
The pain and the breakthrough.
The caterpillar and the butterfly.
Both of these phases are beautiful, to be sure.
But the goo is sacred too.
What if we honoured this phase instead of fighting it?
What if we made space for the middle, the mess, the melt?
What if we saw it not as failure, but as a necessary part of growth?
In the goo, there’s no clear identity.
No certainty.
No road map.
But maybe that’s the point.
Maybe healing isn’t about becoming someone new.
Maybe it’s about remembering who we’ve always been. 0
Your Body Knows the Way
Even in the confusion, your body knows what it needs.
Rest.
Movement.
Nourishment.
Stillness.
Tears.
Laughter.
Physical intimacy.
There is no one right way through the goo.
But your body holds clues.
It might ask you to slow down.
To stop pushing.
To speak your truth.
To ask for help.
To scream.
To sleep.
Can you trust your body enough to listen?
Book Your Free 15-Minute Intro Session with The Witch’s Therapist Today
If you’re in the goo right now, please know this: you’re not broken.
You’re in process.
You are allowed to be unsure.
To not have answers.
To take your time.
You are allowed to feel sad, scared, angry, confused.
You are allowed to not be okay.
You are also allowed to feel small joys.
You are not alone.
We are all goo at some point.
And just like the caterpillar, you are becoming something beautiful, even if you can’t see it yet.
What would it feel like to let go of needing to know exactly who you are becoming?
What would it feel like to rest in the mystery?
To be soft with yourself?
To move slowly?
To honour your needs?
To listen more than you speak?
To trust that you don’t have to do it alone?
Let the goo phase be what it is.
Not a mistake.
Not a delay.
But a sacred part of who you are.
At The Witch’s Therapist, we can help.
Whether you’re knee deep in the goo, or you’re processing how it feels to come out the other end, we can hold space for you.
Book your FREE 15-minute intro session with The Witch’s Therapist today.
The Witch's Therapist
242 Dundas St.
London, Ontario
Canada
N6A 1H3
1-226-977-1660
► London Ontario Holistic Psychotherapy
The Witch's Therapist is located in London, Ontario and offers holistic psychotherapy therapy throughout London and surrounding areas.
.
